The officers shall say to the army: “Has anyone built a new house and not yet begun to live in it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else may begin to live in it. Has anyone planted a vineyard and not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoy it. Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her.” Then the officers shall add, “Is anyone afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his fellow soldiers will not become disheartened too.” When the officers have finished speaking to the army, they shall appoint commanders over it. (Deuteronomy 20:5-9)
We learn a lot from asking questions, pressing more deeply into the strength and vastness of truth as we can sense and respond to it. To constantly keep trying to peer over the edge of understanding and to piece together difficult parts of a puzzle that means everything to us can give a false impression of reality. Uncertainties are magnified when we focus on them endlessly. The truth is that many things have been learnt and can be held as stable ground to walk on and enjoy. So I was taught recently that it is not pretence to spend time in thankfulness for grace and kindness, being firmly anchored in the things that we already know as reality, and to allocate other times for honestly searching through things that are confusing. It can seem unnatural and it can take a lot of discipline, but this balance and this willingness to be thankful for the answers of yesterday is an important part of being realistic, honest, and surrendered to the source of all truth and trustworthiness.