I have wondered about how I will be able to teach my children for sure that the Torah tradition is true. It’s a choice I see a lot with logic, but that logic is both begun and completed with the feeling of my heart’s offering to Hashem, knowing that with limited knowledge this is the path to trust. If my children didn’t feel the same way then how could I explain to them that my own personal choice before God became a literal obligation for them also? And how could I tell any Jew but myself, even my children, that they must believe they are obligated?
I realised it isn’t just up to me to teach them reality. Just as I can hope in the nation about things beyond my understanding and join myself to their testimony, so I can point my kids to humbly listen to the same source and make up their hearts before God, not about what I know but about what Israel knows together.
A friend told me that even though conversion is a choice of my mind, intuition, and heart beforehand, once I become Jewish I will no longer be as I was before…it won’t be my choice but my nature. So then, I can only tell my children then what any Jew can tell his or hers. Wise insight.
She also said that some things can be shown, rather than told, and that it is enough to follow what you find most believable…a child should be free to question but perhaps going away from Torah is not about believability so much as just deciding not to ask any more for other reasons. Hashem helps us.